Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Thank you #3: Our Parents



Let me begin by saying that this particular blog post may be shorter than the rest because there are so many emotions tied to it that the tears may get the best of me. The length of this, by no means, has any correlation to our gratitude.

There are the proverbial “in-law” jokes that circulate, and I’m sure we all have some that we could add to the list. And then there are those horror stories that include mothers and fathers-in law and the fighting that ensues between families. However, in our family, we are truly blessed with in-laws who not only get along, but who care for and support each other. 

I’m not really sure how a parent handles their child getting sick. I mean, I get upset when one of my boys has an ear infection. I can’t imagine what I would do if any of them ever faced something truly serious.
So I’m not really sure how my parents handled watching their only child receive the diagnosis of “cancer.” 

There were the initial tears, sobs, questions, and frustrations. But as the days and weeks went by, new purposes were found. My mom was going through some health challenges of her own at the same time, so I know that she felt like she “wasn’t doing enough” to help. So she did what she could, which was cook and shop. And I don’t want that to sound trivial by any means. She cooked us numerous meals each week, helping to stock-pile our freezer. She would write down my dictated grocery list, and I know she would go armed with my stack of neatly (and only slightly obsessively) organized coupon stash. I could trust that she got me the best deals possible, honoring our budgetary constraints. She would often pick up a “few extra things” that maybe weren’t on the list as a treat for me or for the boys. I appreciated these gestures so much, and knowing that those were things I didn’t need to take care of took much stress away from me. She has recently started taking the boys’ laundry home each week, washing, drying, and folding it for me, just to save me some time. I think I’ll keep her!

Anyone who has ever spent five minutes with my dad knows that he is a comedian. He helped keep us sane over the months. There isn’t a nurse in Sarasota that hasn’t seen my dad blow up a latex glove in a hospital room. While I was in labor, and I mean active labor, he had the entire delivery room in stitches, and I was laughing so hard that the contraction monitor was almost off the charts. My dad is a rock, and he knows how to keep everyone calm, relaxed, and laughing, regardless of the situation. And at a time like this, that was what we all needed. Oh, and he comes over to fix things, too. Recently, some minor toy broke, and Aaron’s first response was, “Oh, that’s okay. Grandpa can fix it.” He has helped babysit the boys, and more so lately as Nathan and I have conflicting schedules.

I’m lucky to say that I have some pretty awesome in-laws, too. They were there the day that the doctor called with my diagnosis. I watched their faces fall when the news came over the speaker phone. They were going to go home that evening, but I knew that I was in no shape to function the next day. So, they drove home (45 minutes away), got their belongings, and drove immediately back, getting in sometime after midnight. They never thought twice about making the trip twice in one day. 

Nathan’s dad, Mike, immediately went into planning mode. I heard it in his voice as he asked the doctor very specific questions, making sure to get all the information “right” as he knew he’d be the one calling family and friends. And that’s what he did. His mom, “Debbie” went into what I like to call “work mode” – cleaning, feeding the boys, play time, bath times, laundry, etc. She helped us function this summer. When I was hospitalized for the infection, she lived at our house for the week, taking over all my regular responsibilities, and then some. Her being here allowed Nathan to be at the hospital with me. And then for my surgery, she once again moved in – this time for almost two weeks. She stayed longer because as soon as I got home, we quickly figured out that I was utterly useless and couldn’t move. For the two of them, I can’t thank them enough for all they did. 

Nathan and I (and the boys) are so blessed that we have two sets of parents that love, support, and encourage us. Without the four of them, I don’t know how we could have survived this last year. To our parents: We thank you.

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