Thank you #2: Kristen and Greg

My high school ex-boyfriend and his wife.

Yup. That’s who this blog is about. That’s normal, right?

Here’s a little background. Greg and I dated in high school. Then we broke up. A tale familiar to any high school couple. We’ve kept in touch through the years. We’ve stayed friends. He’s a pretty cool guy. I figured he’d marry a pretty awesome girl. I mean, come on, we dated, so clearly he has impeccable taste in women. Little did I know just how awesome Kristen would be. 

Kris and I became friends on Facebook a few years back. That’s the only communication she and I ever had with each other. We’d comment on each others' kids’ photos, our daily posts, and send the occasional message to see how the others' families were doing.

When the news spread about my diagnosis, Kris went into planning mode. I don’t know all the specific thoughts that went through their heads, but within a couple of weeks, Greg was on the phone with my parents, asking if it was okay that he and Kris spearhead a project that would help us through the cancer journey. They wanted to create an Amazon gift registry where people could purchase things that our family would need – diapers, wipes, formula, cleaning products, detergent, paper plates, and plastic cutlery. My parents were surprised and humbled by the offer.

Within a week, the UPS and FedEx boxes started coming. Our doorbell rang non-stop for months. I’m not exaggerating when I say that we sometimes saw the same delivery man three times a day. Our home was filled with donations. Some boxes were marked by the givers. Some were purposely kept anonymous. We had to use a spare bedroom to house all the boxes of diapers and wipes that were given. We are now at one year out, and I still have diapers left. We just, and I mean, JUST, ran out of formula. I will literally have Lysol wipes to last me a few years. 

Kris continued to send me envelopes of coupons, gift cards, and encouraging notes.  Then one day, a package arrived from her. Enclosed was a quilt that she had someone make for me. Its main color is purple, and there are inserts with people’s messages of hope, prayer, and Bible verses. She had cut all the strips of fabric, enclosed directions, sent the strips to people who had been a part of my journey, and included return envelopes for those people to mail them back to her. She then took that fabric and had a friend create the most beautiful quilt. As if that wasn’t enough, she had a Shutterfly photo book made with pictures of all the people – friends and strangers – who prayed us through this process so that I could finally put some faces with names. It is a gift like no other.

As it turns out, we were to be vacationing in the same town over Christmas. We adjusted our schedules so that we could meet each other for the first time and have the families spend a few days together. It was one of the best Christmases and vacations we’ve ever had. It’s not every day that you can “go on vacation” with your husband, your three kids, your ex-boyfriend, his wife, and their two kids. It may sound a bit Jerry-Springer-ish, but I tell you, I laughed more those few days than I had in months. Kris and I shopped in the little town and went to lunch where we talked, laughed, and cried for hours. It felt like we had been friends all of our lives. The two families went out to dinner, and when all the kids were asleep, we stayed up late into the night and shared stories. I couldn’t have asked for a better vacation, or for better friends.

Greg emails each week to check in and see how we’re all doing. Kris and I keep in touch weekly on Facebook and occasionally on the phone. It’s tough to carry on a phone conversation when there are a total of five children between the two of us, so the phone calls are few. Perhaps when the kids go to college, we can have an actual conversation on the phone. I know that we have forever friends in them, and that our families will grow up together.

What they did for us was not just thoughtful and a “nice gesture.” The registry they created saved us financially. What most people don’t know is that the day before my diagnosis, my husband was laid off from his job. There went a full-time salary and benefits. We were days away from the birth of our third baby, and since I couldn’t breast feed, formula was a necessity. And an expensive one. The donations that came in from the registry allowed us to use our money for medical expenses, food, and the “regular bills.” There’s no way we could have done it without them.

So, to Kris and Greg – thank you for all that you did. We look forward to many more, healthy, years together. When’s our next vacation?